It may be strange to some, but I have always enjoyed the Ides of March. For one, I like to laugh in the face of superstition and fortune telling. I am terrified at the idea of “fate” or a deity’s “plan” for me, and cannot be swayed from that fear making me want to stare down the face of superstitions. I fear no black cat – they give great cuddles, 13 is my lucky number, and I like March 15.

With the weather starting to turn, and COVID-19 case numbers following suit, it’s hard not to look at this particular Ides of March as a bright, shining beacon of hope for the days to come. I mean, sure – Caesar’s assassins were manipulated by the ancient Roman equivalent of Facebook memes to dramatically murder Caesar in a stab-happy flashmob, but these days, I can’t help but feel good.

Why? Because of all the stabbing going on lately...

I’ve been stabbed.

My partner’s been stabbed.

Heck, several of my closest friends and family have been stabbed.

And unlike that fateful stabbing that happened over two millennia ago, this will actually bring about the recovery of our nation, and not its ultimate downfall.

So to my point: go get stabbed, get stabbed twice, or even once – whichever is necessary for proper dosing of the vaccine.

Remember: the Ides of March isn’t a holiday about stabbing people – it’s about coming together as a group… to stab people.

Beware the Ides of March!

 

 

GBD

Any member on the LGBTQIA+ spectrum will tell you that you don't only come out once. You come out practically every single day to new people you meet and it's always at least a little nerve-wracking. It's not always a grand announcement--sometimes it doesn't even include the words "I'm *insert orientation here*." For me, it usually comes in the form of a correction:

"Actually, it's my wife."

This has taken on various forms throughout the years: "Actually, it's girlfriend." "Actually, my fiance is a woman." Or even a simple, "She." (As in, "What does he do for a living?" "She works in an animal hospital and saves furry lives.")

It sounds easy when I write it out. But the mental gymnastics behind that one moment are extraordinary. There's a checklist to run through: Am I safe? Am I near someone who already knows and supports me? Who is this person I'm talking to? Do they seem like they'll be okay with this information? No, really, am I safe saying this thing to this particular person? Is there an exit plan if they react badly? Am I even in a place where I can leave (for example, is this happening at work where I need to remain professional)?

There's a pit in your stomach. There's a small hitch in your breathing. There's a forced nonchalance because if I act like this is no big deal, maybe they will too. But then am I being too breezy? Almost forcefully so?

All of this happens in the millisecond before you have to decide what you're going to say because, hey, that's how conversations work.

Let me take a moment to make something clear: I don't give a fuck what people think of my orientation. I am proud to be bi and I'm extra proud to be married to my wife. I'm going to keep living my life and no homophobe is going to stop me or make me feel bad about my life. But all of those things mentioned above? They still happen. Every time.

And there's sometimes the thought: Is it worth it? Is it worth it to make the correction, to give this stranger this piece of information about me, does it even matter? Sometimes the answer is going to be no. And that's okay too. But for me, more often than not, I'm going to do it. It's worth it to be visible, to offer representation, and mostly to brag that I got that amazing woman over there to put a ring on it.

But here's the kicker from a bisexual perspective: You've probably still just mislabeled yourself. You were assumed straight, which was wrong. Now, you're assumed gay/lesbian...which is also wrong. Correcting that particular issue mid-conversation is something I haven't figured out for myself yet. If you have figured out how to slip that in without making it into a ~moment~ or making things really weird, please, find me on social media and let me know. 

Jennifer Lee

Project Manager

We Thr3e Queens Productions

    Gender theory is a new realm of study, and more discoveries are being made all the time, especially in the realm of language. This leads to some terminology being relegated to the annals of history for one reason or another. Let’s talk about a few of these today!

“Transexual”

    There was a time when the words “transgender” and “transexual” were used interchangeably. However, this is no longer the case. The word “transexual” implies that medical transition has taken place (more specifically, “bottom” surgery). Many trans people don’t have dysphoria associated with their genitalia, and still others cannot undergo these surgeries for economic or medical reasons. This makes the term “transexual” exclusive of a large portion of the trans community, so it isn’t really used anymore. We use the term “Transgender” instead, which is much more inclusive.

“Transvestite”

    “Transvestite” may, on its surface, seem similar to “Transgender,” but this couldn’t be further from the truth. A “transvestite” is a cisgender person who choses to dress up in clothing normally reserved for the opposite gender. It’s proximity to the term “transgender” has led to some transphobic ideas suggesting transgender people aren’t actually the gender they identify with, but rather their assigned gender in a costume. This does incredible harm to the transgender community, and so this term is no longer used. “Transvestite” and “cross-dresser” alike also both imply that clothing has a gender, which we now know simply isn’t the case. Anyone can wear anything! 

“NB” as an Abbreviation for “Non-Binary”

    You may have noticed most folks use “Enby” as a shortened term for Non-Binary, but why not just use the letters “NB”? NB is used by the black community to refer to “Non-Black” people. Wanting to amplify the voices of our siblings of color, Non-Binary people choose to use “Enby” instead.

There you have it! We’re constantly learning and coming up with more accurate and inclusive terms for things. Feel free to leave these terms in their respective places from here on out!

 

 

Finn Coy-Gresavage

Marketing Director & Social Media Manager

I’m related to St. Valentine! Well, at least I’m related to the Valentines - on my mom’s side, by chance. It’s always made me have an appreciation for the holiday. Yes, it is a super-saccharine, hyper-hallmarked, and commercially-contorted holiday, but I still believe in celebrating love, because, love is what has driven ALL the good things in my life.

I understand that the love everyone thinks of for this holiday is the romantic love, the indulgent love, the lustful, passionate, and sweep-you-off-your feet love. And while that should absolutely be celebrated, I want to encourage everyone to celebrate all the places where love is found in their lives.

I’m talking about celebrating family love – the family into which you were born, OR the family you choose; BOTH can be valid and deserving of celebration! I’m talking about the love of friends – heck, they may spend more time with you than much of your family in your adult years. I’m talking about the love of our connections with mentors and confidants with whom we share our deepest insecurities and greatest weaknesses.

Do you love your job? If so, CONGRATULATIONS! You are incredibly lucky to have found something that brings you happiness AND income – celebrate it! Do you find yourself surprisingly interested the topics you are learning in school? Did you discover something for which you never knew you had a talent, and you are throwing yourself completely into it? Is there a topic that you found out you’re great at teaching, and now you’re passing your knowledge and skill onto others? YAS QUEEN! GET IT, AND RELISH EVERY MINUTE!

I’m talking about the love of your hobbies and passions. Do you love singing your heart out in a musical or at karaoke? Do you love playing sports? Do you love creating digital content with a few of your friends as part of an online group dedicated to providing platforms for LGBTQIA+ artists? AWESOME – celebrate your passions!

Immersing ourselves in our passions and with the people who elevate us, positions us to feel love and loved. Opening ourselves up to learning, to teaching, to supporting others, to being vulnerable, to feeling insecure allows us to grow. That growth is where love is found, and that love deserves celebration.

This Valentine’s day, celebrate the loves of your life – your family, your pets, your friends, your hobbies, and yourself. Let’s transform this holiday from a day where singles feel sidelined and couples feel controlled by clichéd traditions and hetero-normative expectations. Let’s transform it into a day when we celebrate ALL the things we love, with the people we love.

 

GBD

 

Gary Bernard DiNardo

Executive Director for We Thr3e Queens Productions

I would first like to start off by saying how much you inspire me. Every day you teach me something new about myself but I didn't realize I had before. 

 

Waking up every morning with you gives me the strength to pursue my daily life. We have been through so much this past year alone. We faced challenges that completely rocked our world and challenged our limits. We also experienced moments of joy that empowered us to smile and face new challenges head on. Creating a new life and deepening our love and commitment for each other. 

 

With all this love I still take for granted all the wonderful things that make you special.

       The way you are kind loving and welcoming

       Your creative mind that brings people together 

       A childlike sense of adventure, wonder, and humor that’s grounded and strong

       Wise words I should listen too more

       Your strength in dealing with all your luggage while supporting others

       Let’s not forget that beautiful head of hair.

 

Thank you for inspiring me to get up every day and live my most authentic life.  Thank you for loving me and supporting me on my worst, most challenging of days.  Thank you for accompanying and celebrating my achievements and success with me. 

 

Even though we are still single, and will be reminded SO MANY TIMES today, let these wise words from RuPaul continue to provide hope that one day we will no longer be single on this really weird holiday.

 

Seriously. Google it. Its cRaZy NuTs and includes roman fertility/sex rituals, blood, murder, and chocolate! Sounds like a perfect story for a lifetime movie if you ask me. :D 

 

wait……….what was I saying…… oh yeah RuPaul….

 

“If you can't love yourself how in the hell are you gonna love somebody else?”

 

Remember that self-love should never be overlooked!  Buy yourself that new sweater, treat yourself, and take time to pamper and love YOURSELF today cause you are worth it!

 

 

Love, 

Me

 

Sean Michael Fraser

Artistic Director for We Thr3e Queens Productions